Center for Faculty Development
Tips for a Successful Mentoring Relationship
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Mentoring works best when it’s grounded in trust, openness, and shared commitment. Whether you're stepping into the role of mentor or mentee, having a few guiding principles can help make the experience more impactful for everyone involved! The following tips are designed to support both sides of the relationship, offering practical ways to build connections, navigate conversations, and make the most of your time together.
For Mentors
- Support career planning: Help your mentee think long-term. Encourage them to explore possible paths and set goals that feel meaningful that also connect to their unit’s expectations. You don’t need to map out every step—but you can ask thoughtful questions and offer perspective to help them get clarity.
- Lead with the relationship: Mentoring shouldn’t feel like a checkbox. Focus on building a genuine connection. Go beyond job titles—get curious about who your mentee is, what drives them, and what they hope to learn or become.
- Encouragement: Sometimes, all someone needs is a reminder that they’re capable. Sharing your own examples of how you likely had feelings of being an imposter help help normalize this experience. Be that voice of encouragement. Celebrate their progress and keep them motivated!
- Provide clear and honest input: Effector mentors listen firsts, then provide complete, appropriate, constructive, and frank feedback.
- Practice Patience: In the beginning, your mentee might seem a little hesitant or unresponsive. This is often just a reflection of uncertainty or nervousness about the relationship. Over time, as they recognize your genuine support, their comfort and engagement will likely increase. Be patient. There is no need to rush the process!
- Recognize when to refer your mentee to other faculty and resources: It is impossible have all the answers or resources to meet the needs of your mentee. Research also suggests that having a network of mentors is more affective in helping new faculty achieve their career goals, so assist with these connections by referring your mentee to folks with relevant expertise.
For Mentees
- Take ownership: As a mentee, you are responsible for the relationship and for your own professional growth and development. Set clear goals and expectations, take an active role in the process, and put in the effort to maintain the connection.
- Stay curious: Asking questions is a key opportunity to learn as much as possible from your mentor. Come prepared for your first meeting with a set of open-ended questions that can spark conversation and help you explore your mentor’s career path, experiences, and field of work.
- Listen: Listen actively, take in feedback, and make the most of your mentor’s expertise and experience. Your mentor might approach topics differently than you expect, and at first, their responses may not line up exactly with what you were hoping to hear. That’s completely normal, especially early on. We encourage you to listen carefully, as their perspective can offer valuable insight to help you navigate your situation.
- Write: Keeping a learning journal during the mentoring process can be a great way to maintain continuity from one meeting to the next. Having a written record of your discussions gives you something to revisit and reflect on as you move forward in the relationship.
DO's and DON'Ts for Mentors
While the primary responsibility for maintaining contact rests with the mentee, it’s a good idea for the mentor to step in and keep the connection going if the mentee hasn’t followed up. Because of cultural differences and the personal nature of mentoring, misunderstandings can happen. If the relationship feels off track, it’s helpful to regularly check in on how things are going, whether both sides feel supported, and what adjustments might be needed.
Do's
- Be a sounding-board
- Listen and be patient
- Show empathy
- Respect your mentee’s time as much as your own
- Create an open space that will enable the mentee to approach you
- Demonstrate confidentiality and respect
- Be open and honest
- Be constructively confrontational
- Help your mentee with access to resources and support
- Be aware of expectations and limitations
Don'ts
- Be judgmental of your mentee’s experiences or choices.
- Dominate the conversation – keep the conversation focused on your mentee
- Expect to know everything or to have a solution to everything. You can find resources for your mentee together or refer them to another colleague who may be able to assist.
- Ignore your own need for help
- Give up – hang in there, even if the relationship is shaky for a period
- Do not take the lead and tell the mentee what to do. Provide examples and suggestions. Ultimately it is up to the mentee on what advice to take or not take.
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Attribution: Based on in the JPOSC career mentoring programme.